Dear Two-Legged Walking Piece of Human Excrement,

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 01/22/2014 at 22:01 • Filed to: None

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Congratulations on becoming the new owner of some very nice, leather BMW /// M driving gloves. They were really comfortable, fit me well, and were a pleasure to use while driving. I was the owner of them since my brother gave them to me for Christmas. I know that your not a member of this great place, because people here are better than you. But, I do know that you found the gloves sitting on a bench in the business and engineering building at Northern Kentucky University. The thought probably occurred to you, that, yes, somebody would come back for them. I really hope, for your own sake, that I never see you wearing them.

May your first born be sewn by another's seed,

Arch Duke Maxyenko

Thanks for letting me vent, Oppo.

CounterTorqueSteer > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:05

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That sucks buddy. Sorry to hear that. I had my Audi jacket stolen from me a few months back.

Velocity- Peuguette Connoisseur > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:08

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Oh that's terrible....dude I'm so sorry. You should hunt this cunt down.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > CounterTorqueSteer 01/22/2014 at 22:08

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themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:09

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"May your first born be sewn by another's seed"

Wow. I will need t use this at some point in life.

Bad Idea Hat > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:11

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My brother in law went to NKU.
I'll have him get his guns.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Bad Idea Hat 01/22/2014 at 22:13

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I have my own.

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:16

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That blows. Sorry to hear it. Give them a right thrashing if you ever find the culprit.

XJDano > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:29

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Its worth a shot, try http://www.nku.edu/about/lostandf… within 6 weeks.

Lets Just Drive > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:31

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You know I love you, and I have all the feels for you buddy.

But don't be hurt, it was bound to happen. Why? Because, my friend, they are the gloves asshat and they just couldn't live in your care. They tried to make the relationship last, but you insisted on making them tug your blinkers on telling people you wanted to change lanes and parking between the lines like some sort of animal. They tried, and they tried. But that day you left them alone they saw their chance when picked up by an immeasurably sized douchebag. While you're hurting now, and I understand, you've got to find the silver lining - your gloves are happy now, changing lanes without a care in the world and parking in the spots reserved for the disabled.

If I'd the ability, good buddy, I'd buy you a pair of these Stringbacks by Autodromo because you're just too good for a bad girl like her.

Much love buddy.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > XJDano 01/22/2014 at 22:33

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I'll go tomorrow, I'm not hopeful.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive 01/22/2014 at 22:35

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Yeah, I'll check out other options, but damn if they weren't the most comfortable gloves that I've ever worn. The leather was so soft and supple.

PS9 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 22:49

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May your first born be sewn by another's seed

Depending on the person, this may unravel as more of a blessing than a curse. Sorry about the gloves, man.